Due to Amanda bugging me in study hall today to upgrade this Xanga page I shall start doing so from now on. These past few weeks have been shitty. To put it simply. I am in desperate need of summer, sex, and boys. I want to go to camp and bask in the sun's heat and go swimming in the water.

      Steven dumped me over vacation at Borders. I find it ironic that he dumped me there, of all places. We met there and so it ended there. I was quite proud of myself that I didn't cry a single tear. Either way, I am unhappy and I do want another cute boy, I don't like not knowing there is no one thinking about me when they go to sleep at night.

      I am so tired of this school and all of it's ignorance and drama, quizes and tests and teachers who fail to realize that they have bad breath, like Mr. Leathem.  I met a guy at Star Buck's in Target, his name is Adam and I  like him. Yes, he's gay, yes I have actually had a conversation with him, and yes, he is absolutely gorgeous. I always seem to blush a scarlet red when ever he starts talking to me. He was working in my department at work tonight and he started talking to me and I started to sweat and then I thought things like "Oh shit, do I smell? Damn it, did I put on enough deodarant this morning?" Stupid stuff like that. Then I ran off, stupid me, I should have stayed and talked to him, I freaked though. I am going to try to lure him to go to dinner with some night after work with me and a few friends. I think he has a mild interest in me, I always see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye.

      I don't see my old friends anymore, and I miss them. I miss Chelsea and Lindsay, Emily and our whole "Serority Circle". I feel like I have been totally voted out of that little group. We used to have so much fun together and now adays I have small conversations, if I am lucky, in the halls with Chels or Lindz. I miss Chelsea especially, that girl used to rock my world.

         Oh and on top of that my family is a bunch of rednecks. We made this new room in my house that has a "hunting dog" theme. It's rediculous, really. If you saw it you would walk away laughing your ass off. Okay, so get this: There is a dead fish on a plaque on the wall, a dead stuffed Partridge on a stick sitting on top of the computer, a picture of dogs in a beautful frame(point being that the frame was wasted), and a border with a bunch of dogs killing ducks to finish it all off. So um...no one is going to be coming over anymore because of that.

      Anyway, I am sorry to complain. Thanks for holding out, and I do realize that some people have it alot worse than I do. Have a nice snow day tomorrow guys, it's supposed to be a big one.